Questions for a Video Call Before a Marriage Proposal

A good first video call before a marriage proposal covers values, family, work, location, and expectations — asked respectfully, with family involved when appropriate. It's your best chance to judge compatibility across distance. This guide gives you the questions to ask, how to open the call, and what to do afterward.

How should I prepare for the call?

Prepare a short list of questions and agree who will be present. A first call works best when both sides know what to expect:

• Pick a quiet time that suits both time zones.
• Decide whether a family member will join, and tell the other side in advance.
• Keep a few questions ready, but let it feel like a conversation, not an interview.

How do I open the call respectfully?

Start with a warm salaam and light introductions before serious topics. A respectful opening sets the tone: greet each other and any family present, share a little about your day or background, and thank them for their time. Easing in makes the harder questions later feel natural, not confrontational.

Questions about values and faith

• What does practising faith look like in your daily life?
• What values matter most to you in a marriage?
• How do you hope to raise children, especially between two cultures?

Questions about family

• Tell me about your family and how close you are.
• How involved will family be after marriage?
• What are their hopes and any concerns about an overseas match?

Questions about work and location

• What is your work or study situation, and your plans ahead?
• Where do you see the couple living after marriage?
• How do you feel about relocation and the visa process?

Questions about expectations and boundaries

• What does a happy married life look like to you?
• What are your expectations around work, home, and responsibilities?
• Is there anything that would be a dealbreaker for you?

A first call is for understanding, not deciding. Listen as much as you ask, and notice how they treat the conversation itself.

What should I do after the call?

Discuss it with family, note what you learned, and don't rush a decision. One call isn't enough to commit. Share your impressions with the people you trust, see if the answers line up with your own values, and arrange a follow-up if it felt right. When you're ready, you can create a free profile or read our guide on how overseas Pakistanis find a rishta.

Frequently asked questions